Facing a giant is terrifying as hell so how come a little mouse creeps up to a stamping, noisy elephant and stands firm in its position and lo and behold the elephant squawks in fear?
This is something I couldn’t understand as a young, vulnerable and untrained female. Standing up for yourself and others and putting boundaries in place to establish respect is really daunting. It seems safer to become the giants friend even when they are crossing the line.
The naive world view here is that respect should be a given and that people should understand what is right and wrong and what is appropriate. Whether they do or not, some people choose to cross lines to get reactions from people and to achieve a desired outcome. Some people get off on others discomfort.
So why do these cringe worthy people make us feel as if we need to play along with their sick game in order to not rock the boat? Why do these people make us feel guilty for wanting respect and then turn blame on us if we dip our toe in the water establishing a boundary?
It is because these people have an in built radar scoping targets. They have become experts at judging who will fold and comply and who will stick to their guns and push back. After years of inappropriate behaviour they know the signs to look for their prey.
This bothers me to no end that I have not and cannot firmly say for someone to cease treating me inappropriately and that I will walk away, end the call or cut them out of my life if they continue to disrespect me. I believe i’m not alone in this. I just want people to know its okay to feel scared to speak up and to feel triggered in that moment, folding and complying with their agenda to safe guard yourself against conflict.
What we can do better is to firstly stop feeling guilty for wanting and trying to establish respect. To stop feeling unreasonable and stupid for believing people are good and know what is right and wrong and won’t cross the line intentionally. To stop feeling as if we somehow wanted this sort of attention and that it is our fault. We can try to take small steps in facing conflict bit by bit and build our confidence to the point where we are as brave as that little mouse.
Truth is the elephant is more scared of us. We are beautiful human beings that have more to offer the world than they ever will and they are threatened by our courage and our gentle spirit and jealous of the opportunities we receive because of who we are. The elephants are the cowards, not the mice. Please keep safe though if you do feel threatened by these people but remember most of them make alot of noise and high tail it out of there when you stand your ground because deep down they want easy pickings.
ChandelierSpace 